Compassion Focused Therapy and Self-Compassion: What Is the Difference?

If you have been reading about self-criticism or shame, you have probably come across two phrases that sound interchangeable and are not. One is Compassion Focused Therapy, usually shortened to CFT. The other is self-compassion as a way of working, which appears in a lot of therapy that is not CFT. Knowing which one you are looking for makes it much easier to find the right practitioner.

What CFT is

Compassion Focused Therapy is a specific model, developed by Professor Paul Gilbert and his colleagues. It draws on evolutionary psychology and neuroscience, and it has a particular way of explaining distress: that we carry several emotional systems, one geared to threat, one to drive and achievement, and one to soothing and connection, and that many people who struggle with shame have a threat system doing most of the work and a soothing system that was never built up.

CFT uses structured exercises to develop that soothing capacity, including imagery work and practices aimed at the body's calming responses. It is a trained modality. Practitioners complete specific CFT training on top of their core qualification, and the work tends to follow a recognisable structure.

CFT is not one of the services I offer

I have not trained in CFT and I do not deliver it. If that specific model is what you want, you should see someone who has trained in it, and the last section here says where to look.

What I would add is that compassion is not really a specialism. It is the ground any useful therapy stands on. My practice is integrative, drawing on Person-Centred therapy, Gestalt and Transactional Analysis, and compassion runs through all of it rather than sitting in one part of it. If what you are looking for is a therapist who will meet you with a great deal of it, that is what I offer.

What I do work with

Self-compassion in the broader sense is central to a great deal of what I do, particularly with shame and self-criticism. The difference is in how we get there. Rather than following a protocol of structured exercises, the work happens largely in the relationship.

Shame tends to survive on secrecy. Saying the thing you are most ashamed of out loud, to someone who does not flinch and does not rush to reassure you, is often where something starts to shift. Over time that experience of being seen without judgement can loosen a belief that argument alone never touches. That work is described in more detail on my page about self-worth, shame and low self-esteem.

Both approaches take seriously that you cannot reason your way out of shame, and both treat self-criticism as something learned rather than something true. They differ in method, not in that underlying view.

Which might suit you

Some people want structure, exercises to practise between sessions and a clear model to understand their own reactions through. If that is you, CFT may be a good fit.

Other people have had enough of techniques, or find that structure keeps them at arm's length from what they feel. If that is you, relational work may suit you better. Neither is the superior choice, and plenty of people try one and move to the other.

Finding a CFT practitioner

The Compassionate Mind Foundation holds information about the model and about training. The BABCP register lists practitioners who work in this area, and the UKCP and BACP registers can both be searched by modality.

Common questions

Is self-compassion the same as self-esteem?

No. Self-esteem tends to rest on evaluation, on being good enough measured against something. Self-compassion does not depend on the verdict. It is the capacity to treat your own experience kindly whether or not you have met the standard, which is why it tends to be steadier.

Do I need to understand the CFT model to work on self-criticism?

No. The model is one useful explanation, not a prerequisite.

Can you refer me to a CFT therapist?

I am not able to make formal referrals into other private practices, but the registers above are searchable by modality and most practitioners offer an initial conversation.

Is this work suitable if my self-criticism comes from childhood?

Often, yes. Where self-criticism grew out of early experience, that history usually becomes part of the work. My page on childhood trauma therapy covers that in more detail.